Dear Ex-Best Friend
Dear Ex-Best Friend,
Although I was 15 and thought I was almost at peak maturity, I hope there has been some room for you to realise that we were both too young to realise what we were throwing away. I doubt you’re surprised at how earnest and dramatic this letter has started; I haven’t changed that much.
I could pretend I don’t care, but how are you? I’m genuinely wondering because after years of not speaking, I can’t reasonably hold you to the same petty standards I did a decade ago. For what it’s worth, I don’t think you hold me to those petty standards anymore either.
I wonder if you have a job that involves any of your old hobbies and interests, or if you’ve changed completely, and I’d never be able to guess how you spend your 9-5. Maybe, like me, the silly ways we would spend our time making cringe lip-syncing videos and obsessing over reality TV, you’ve found a way to integrate that light-hearted creativity into your job.
Breakup songs are likened to romantic relationships, but last week, a friend told me that it hurts more to think about their ex-best friend when it comes to melodies about loss and wonder. I’d have to agree. Romantic breakups suck, but it’s more of a sign that you’re on the right path to finding the right person for you, the one, your person. A friendship heartbreak is just one less person on the list of people to invite to every birthday, update your family on and quote iconic lines from Dance Moms to.
Your birthday rolls around, and each year, I have the internal debate of whether to send you a message. I question myself; is it polite or just completely out of left field? Introspectively, I feel like a desperate ex, reaching out to see if you’re really sure that we are better on non-speaking terms.
Whether it’s a mutual friend's birthday, a school reunion, or even a chance run-in at the local grocery store over Christmas, I hope our awkward commentary on the weather or reiterating how we can’t believe how long it’s been since we last saw each other turns into more of a conversation between old friends.
I hope you’re in a good place and can appreciate the memories of us, because I cherish them. Plus, we probably have the most footage against each other to use as blackmail and I’d prefer to be in the good books of someone who has footage of me dressing up and lip syncing to Lady Gaga in 2010.
Best,
Charlotte
