58. Drink bottle currency
With Lorde’s highly anticipated album officially announced to be released on June 27th, her press circuit is well underway. Content from her Rolling Stone feature is overtaking my Instagram feed, hence why I can tell you 5-Gum and duct tape were imperative to the making of this record. Fun, right?
A quick search of her socials will show you that Lorde’s profile picture is an iridescent drink bottle. And now, it is officially culturally relevant enough for me to talk about something I have pondered for years: drink bottle currency.
Once thought to be a fad of the high school days, it is clear that drink bottles maintain their currency as an aid to social status. I don’t judge someone for having a certain brand of drink bottle - one way or another, it is merely an observation.
In high school, the hierarchy is steadily built on uncontrollable variables such as perceived coolness, perceived attractiveness, and perceived status. That status in 2014 was almost dependent on owning the Nike drink bottle that would make those weird squeaky noises once you finished quenching your thirst or even so much as looked at it. Mine, fluorescent yellow, served me greatly for many years. Yet my 14-year-old male peers were simply overjoyed by their strong pressure to use during lunchtime water fights.
I imagine I’m not the only one who had a Frank Green drink bottle at the top of their Christmas list last year, I’m sure there were more high schoolers than not in the same boat. Of course, nothing against Frank Green products, they are top quality. I see them and the Stanley Cups being perfect vessels for presenting personality as well as potential status symbols.
Maybe it’s because the coolest girl in High School (Musical: The Musical The Series) Olivia Rodrigo collaborated with them. It’s certifiably cool, there’s literally a Reddit thread dedicated to deciphering if you got the real deal or a rip-off.
The market for an emotional support drink bottle is off the charts. Our personalisation options for them nowadays are seemingly endless, and boy it is fun decorating them. Not to mention that just today I saw children’s drink bottles with silicone-animal-shaped heads attached to them, suitably called the “Bestie Bottle”. Adorable in theory and practice, this is proof that your future job may not exist yet: just ask Bestie Bottle’s Head of Silicone-Animal-Head Design what their dream job was at 10 years old.
Although Lorde says “there was nothing deep to [buying the drink bottle]”, it soon became integral to her creativity (which is imperative to songwriters everywhere). Their typical blank canvases allow our stickers, charms or dents to shine and tell our story. Her new single “Man of the Year” is dropping next week.
