51. Siblings: the built-in friends or foes

Everyone has a different perspective on life, which serves as a blessing and a curse. A blessing, of course, as it brings diversity to the world and our relationships with others. And a curse when the inability to see eye-to-eye with someone turns things sour. Blood is thicker than water, and love can be tougher than hatred, but spending an average of 18 years living with our immediate relatives can put our love to the test.

With only younger brothers, I struggled to understand their perspectives growing up, inherently due to our different genders. How were they being so fast and loose all the time? Why aren’t they feeling as guilty as I am when not completing chores? Don’t they feel the burden of leaving mum with all the jobs to do? 

The old adage, ‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder’ was too simple; I had to find the fondness to begin with and surely so did they. Outside of the times we pleasantly watched Hamish and Andy’s Gap Year DVDs, I would barely consider them friends. God bless Hamish and Andy for pacifying our spitefulness, even if only temporarily. Clearly, once I moved out, things would be more civil in the household.

Moving out of home can allow the space to shape and decide which role we play within the world in varying contexts. This includes the type of friend we are, which stereotypical role we play in workplace dynamics, and how we are as a housemate now that the fear of parents' wrath when you realise you forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer is no longer present.

Aside from the 2020 global setback, in the years since, moving out of home has been nothing but completely healthy and necessary for our relationships. I know I am not alone in this; I was lucky enough to cohabitate and grow up with a beautiful group of people to call my family, yet I experienced conflict.

It’s the natural progression of growing up; friendships get more complicated, homework gets more frequent, and life decisions feel like they are attached to a ticking time bomb. That stress, plus my attitude, plus family members who know how to push my buttons, equated to me feeling insane. 

Yet here I write this, acting more child-like than ever and, in turn, creating friendships with my brothers that I intend to last a lifetime, with or without the aid of Hamish and Andy. Next time you see me, I would love to hear about your arguments with siblings growing up to make me feel better, thanks.